Random Tales From Youth #4

I think it would be safe to say that we’ve experienced, at on time or another, a situation that was well beyond its proper place in our lives to happen. Like when your grandfather lets you have a sip of beer at the age of six, or- being a virgin- letting your uncle pay a rather fine looking Japanese stripper dry hump you until you feel that that moment was something more special than anything else, and you end up calling it being in love. I don’t remember exactly when my attraction to the opposite sex became sturdier than solid rock, but I know it came earlier than it was expected or supposedly should have occurred. If I was to sketch that certain period it would be my best guess to say that it dawned upon me between my first and second year at grade school. I used to get, at the very least, eight hours of sleep so I always had ample time to dream away. It was one of those dreams that played out in succession, meaning that it had different episodes that did not necessarily connect with one another. I can’t remember what came before or possibly after, but all I can recall vividly is this one part which haunted me until my waking day, and all the way until today. For some strange reason, as most of our dreams go, I found myself being a spectator. I don’t know where I was, but all the people were wearing tall white furred hats and blue soldier jackets with yellow outlining adorned with the same white fur along the edges. They were mounted on white horses on a brown, and dignified, saddle. Some of them had swords, but any further details would have already likely escaped me since this is, as I speak, more than a decade old dream. They were all men except for one; for some reason the one girl that stood out, despite the fact that she was some ruler of some sort as the rest of the soldiers mentioned, shared the same features as the girl that was in my soccer team, who I grew fond of looking at throughout the weekends. She was in a predicament during my dream sequence. Of course, strangling logic, in my dream I darted to ask for her hand in marriage. She said yes immediately, seeing that it was my dream, but only after a certain task be done. She told me she couldn’t be free until a pebble was laid in the center of a three inch deep well, a well without water. One of her soldiers had to place that pebble that looked more like a skipping stone right in the center while riding a horse that ran as fast as it could. She only agreed to wed me only if she was free. The scenes played out in the best cinematography my young mind could handle. The camera panned in and zoomed out, until it came to one shot which focused on the three inch well while one of the soldier’s horse was steadily pacing itself towards the camera. I know I stole that shot from some animated movie I’ve seen, but I still can’t remember which one. But with that scene, which has left imprints in me until today, the pebble was finally set and freedom for my future wife was bestowed. All were elated with such celebrations, however the catch was more than I could handle. She, my future wife, shriveled into an old and helpless woman instantaneously. I felt I dug myself into a rather large ditch. I couldn’t say no to marry her then, since I was the one who asked in the first place. I was speechless and practically dumbfounded. Luckily I woke up just in time. Though the strange thing is, the first words that came from my head when I was already wide awake were “I need a girl to meet”. I wasn’t that proficient with English during that time, so I guess what I meant was “Shiet, I want sum of dem ladies to kick it wid, ya kno wut I’m sayin?”. No matter how that dream left an impression, it was so out of place. Call it way ahead of its time. Then again, I had my first erection long before I knew what to do with it.